Hate.

Hate is a very strong word. Did you know that it's used in the Gospel? I didn't until yesterday when I went to church and the Priest read it. I was very interested in what he was talking about.

Why is it that someone can have so much control over your life when you don't want them to? Why is it that they can go along without wondering what I'm doing and how I'm doing, yet I can't go five fucking minutes without thinking about what they're doing and knowing that they don't care. It's getting to the point where I didn't eat today. I had half a bowl of maccaroni and cheese, two sticks of celery, two bites of soup, and three pieces of this weird thing Katie made. It may sound like a lot of food, but it's not. On top of it I don't sleep. It's really starting to get to me and add it to the school work I have that I don't understand. I need a break from my life right now. Where can I get one of those?

If things couldn't be any more stressful, I get a 16 year old telling me that she likes me. Not only is that a. illegal, but b. I work with her and c. she's Jamie's little sister. All of that is just too much for me to handle right now.

Also, adding to my plate of shit are the leadership meetings on Tuesdays. If I can't force myself to finish my Spanish homework, I don't know if I'll attend becuase class is just more important.

I really just want to scream. All I did today was read. I went to bed around 2ish, got up at 8:40. Tried to sleep until about 9:48, but all I did was lay there. Got up and read all day. I read my new Catholicism book and then my Spanish Civ book. We have a couch now so it's more fun to sit in the family room and read. Next we just need a tv stand and some cable/dvd player.

This stress is really starting to affect me. It was okay when it was just school, but when you throw in Spanish that I don't understand and people that don't care when you try to care, it just sucks. Can someone please give me a vacation from myself?

Well I guess I'm done being emo.

PEACE