As I sit here ready to get into bed I can't help but think about the great weekend coming up! It's Fall Break and I am heading home. First I'm making a pitstop in Binghamton, NY to visit my friend Kelly at school. She goes to SUNY Binghmaton (SUNY = State University of New York by the way). It's going to be a fun few days! On Sunday I'm going to drive 3 hours North and go back home to the ROC. I get to visit my cousin at school and see her new place, see my mom and brother, see some friends. Hopefully go to lunch with Eva (my highschool Spanish teacher) and just relax for .3 seconds. Then Tuesday monring/afternoon I'll begin the treck back down here. It's horribly boring to go by yourself. If I weren't going to the Bing I might have invited someone to come with me, but I am so it would be weird for them to come.
Also really soon (in about a month) I'm going to Tallahassee to visit Stacy at FSU! I'm really excited about that. It's always fun when I get to see her and it'll be even greater going to her school and seeing it and meeting her friends. Hopefully it'll be warmer there, too.
I'm in search of a bike. I'm going to go to thrift stores and look for a good one. Hopefully it'll be nice and cheap, but still a reliable bike.
Well that's all I've got.
PEACE
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
¿Como te llamas?...Estoy roto.
Wow. Like Andrew's post it has been a really long time since I've updated. Part of it was due to lack of internet and the other part is just lazyness. So I guess it's time to be unlazy. Right now I am laying in bed and just turned on The Chronicles of Narnia to watch. I'm really excited, I've been thinking about this movie lately.
Where to start, the last thing you knew was that there was a dance party to go to. I went. It was a lot of fun and I took a lot of pictures (you can find them on Facebook). After that classes continued on and then I worked at lame-ass Cold Stone. The following weekend was the InterVarsity Chapter Retreat! I love retreats. They get you started on your Jesus high that lets you go from there. The trip up there was great. I had a car of 4 girls. So naturally, it was hectic. We got lost (following Doug and Justin though!) and then finally made it there. One word to describe this retreat: revealing.
I use the word revealing because there were a lot of things revealed to me. One. God speaks to me through Spanish. I used my Spanish Bible a lot while I was there and it just started clicking. Two. I don't know my name. If you were there you'll understand that. Three. I am broken. I am trying to find my way and understand what that means. I know that I am in need of God and Jesus so much that it hurts. My life is anything but perfect, and I need to learn that in order to help with that, Jesus needs to be the center of that help. Four. I am a judge. I am constantly judging people. But luckily, God is constantly slapping me in the face and telling me I'm wrong. I would say that this weekend I made some good friends, with the new people and with people I've known since last year.
It was extremely weird walking back into that place. I have grown so much since last year, and shrunk a little, too. Being a small group leader was really weird because I now know what it feels like to be on both sides. I really enjoyed my small group. Ashley was my co-leader and I feel so much more connected to her (you'll find out why in a little bit). That's actually what my picture is; my small group. Just kidding. It won't load.
Saturday night we had a time for extended worship and a time to pray and think. There were a few people in the back: Shane, Dawn, Jeremy, Ashley, Jessica, Doug, and Dani. I first went back and talked with Ashley. I talked about what was going on with me and then she prayed for me. I can't tell you how great it is to have someone pray for you. To hear them ask God to help you. Its truly amazing. After that I chair hopped on over to Jessica. We talked and then she too prayed for me. Again an amazing feeling. After I was finished with her, I went to Dani's chair. I was actually quite nervous about that because Dani and I had only recently started talking. We talked about STIM next year and all the great things that are going to happen. Then she prayed for me. I think that just really showed how much I don't know about people, and how much I let judgements get in my way.
Afterwards we had the bonfire, and the best part of that was that we had a GIANT massage line. It was just amazing. I got massages from so many people and gave them too. Doug wins for guys and Nicole wins for girls. They were good. This weekend was also a great time to talk with Doug and Tyler. We had great conversations sitting in the woods and talking with them was where I could open up and talk about anything. Great friendships are forming.
Sometimes I'm a douchebag. For some reason, I decide that I'm not going to call someone to hang out until they call me first. I think God is telling me that that's pretty stupid. I have run into said person every day this week. I think it's an insult to the friendship that I have and I need to stop.
What I really liked about the retreat was when Dani gave her talk about identity, and who she is. We were all given nametags for us to think about what our names are. I still don't know, but I wrote some things down. I think it's a process to figure it out and can't be thought of on the spot.
¿A dónde voy con mi vida? = Where am I going with my life?
My plan when I'm done with school is to head overseas somewhere to teach English. Maybe in Latin America or Spain. I don't want to leave behind my friends. But I guess if they are meant to be in my life in the future, God will keep them there. It's just really nerve racking becuase I'm very selfish when it comes to that and refuse to say goodbye.
Tonight I had dinner with one of the guys from my small group. It was fun, he's cool and we share the same name and cell phone actually. I look forward to getting to know him better. Tomorrow I'm getting lunch with another one of the guys and that too should be fun.
Well I'm exhausted so it's off to bed I go.
Also. Yay for an interview at the coffee shop and hopefully telling Cold Stone to fuck off.
PEACE
Where to start, the last thing you knew was that there was a dance party to go to. I went. It was a lot of fun and I took a lot of pictures (you can find them on Facebook). After that classes continued on and then I worked at lame-ass Cold Stone. The following weekend was the InterVarsity Chapter Retreat! I love retreats. They get you started on your Jesus high that lets you go from there. The trip up there was great. I had a car of 4 girls. So naturally, it was hectic. We got lost (following Doug and Justin though!) and then finally made it there. One word to describe this retreat: revealing.
I use the word revealing because there were a lot of things revealed to me. One. God speaks to me through Spanish. I used my Spanish Bible a lot while I was there and it just started clicking. Two. I don't know my name. If you were there you'll understand that. Three. I am broken. I am trying to find my way and understand what that means. I know that I am in need of God and Jesus so much that it hurts. My life is anything but perfect, and I need to learn that in order to help with that, Jesus needs to be the center of that help. Four. I am a judge. I am constantly judging people. But luckily, God is constantly slapping me in the face and telling me I'm wrong. I would say that this weekend I made some good friends, with the new people and with people I've known since last year.
It was extremely weird walking back into that place. I have grown so much since last year, and shrunk a little, too. Being a small group leader was really weird because I now know what it feels like to be on both sides. I really enjoyed my small group. Ashley was my co-leader and I feel so much more connected to her (you'll find out why in a little bit). That's actually what my picture is; my small group. Just kidding. It won't load.
Saturday night we had a time for extended worship and a time to pray and think. There were a few people in the back: Shane, Dawn, Jeremy, Ashley, Jessica, Doug, and Dani. I first went back and talked with Ashley. I talked about what was going on with me and then she prayed for me. I can't tell you how great it is to have someone pray for you. To hear them ask God to help you. Its truly amazing. After that I chair hopped on over to Jessica. We talked and then she too prayed for me. Again an amazing feeling. After I was finished with her, I went to Dani's chair. I was actually quite nervous about that because Dani and I had only recently started talking. We talked about STIM next year and all the great things that are going to happen. Then she prayed for me. I think that just really showed how much I don't know about people, and how much I let judgements get in my way.
Afterwards we had the bonfire, and the best part of that was that we had a GIANT massage line. It was just amazing. I got massages from so many people and gave them too. Doug wins for guys and Nicole wins for girls. They were good. This weekend was also a great time to talk with Doug and Tyler. We had great conversations sitting in the woods and talking with them was where I could open up and talk about anything. Great friendships are forming.
Sometimes I'm a douchebag. For some reason, I decide that I'm not going to call someone to hang out until they call me first. I think God is telling me that that's pretty stupid. I have run into said person every day this week. I think it's an insult to the friendship that I have and I need to stop.
What I really liked about the retreat was when Dani gave her talk about identity, and who she is. We were all given nametags for us to think about what our names are. I still don't know, but I wrote some things down. I think it's a process to figure it out and can't be thought of on the spot.
¿A dónde voy con mi vida? = Where am I going with my life?
My plan when I'm done with school is to head overseas somewhere to teach English. Maybe in Latin America or Spain. I don't want to leave behind my friends. But I guess if they are meant to be in my life in the future, God will keep them there. It's just really nerve racking becuase I'm very selfish when it comes to that and refuse to say goodbye.
Tonight I had dinner with one of the guys from my small group. It was fun, he's cool and we share the same name and cell phone actually. I look forward to getting to know him better. Tomorrow I'm getting lunch with another one of the guys and that too should be fun.
Well I'm exhausted so it's off to bed I go.
Also. Yay for an interview at the coffee shop and hopefully telling Cold Stone to fuck off.
PEACE
Friday, September 14, 2007
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Wow. These weeks are just going by so fast! The third week of school is already over with. Pretty soon the semester will be over, I'll be finding out if I'm gong to Bolivia and Argentina and then it will be Spring semester. Wow. My goal is to not have Dr. Gordus for classes again after this semester. He's a nice guy but I don't like his teaching methods and I prefer to have natives teach me. Oh well, I'll get plenty of that when I go to Latin America (If I go haha). I have to finish filling out my Application for STIM, give the parts to some other people and then send it in.
I'm also really happy becuase I am officially a member of Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church now! I got a letter yesterday saying, "Welcome!!" Now I'll get my fun little envelopes and tithe my life away :).
The picture above is one of my cousin, her boyfriend Nate, and me. It was taken on my beautiful Mac and I just love it. It makes me miss her a lot, but I know that I'll see her soon enough and we video chat quite frequently so it's fun. I don't think I'm going to see her until December actually, that makes me quite sad, but I'll live.
I have a lot of stuff to do today. I have to meet with Ryan and plan SG stuff, meet Laura for lunch, meet with my Spanish professor at 3:30, go to the bank, go to the pet/grocery store, call Verizon and yell at them, call Cox, begin working on my Spanish essay, begin my Politics essay, start my Spanish presentation, and there may be another thing or two that I have to do. But it's a good thing I don't have class on Fridays or Mondays. It's going to be my saving grace, I can tell right now.
Speaking of which, that's a funny little idiom right there. Saving grace. We have a saving grace. It was given to us by God, yet we choose to use it when talking about classes and other random earthly things. Kind of funnny. Well not funny, but interesting. I wonder if non-Christians know that they use these phrases and really understand where they come from.
I enjoy just laying in bed, typing on my computer, and waiting for my alarm to go off to tell me to get up. I still have 27 more minutes of free time :). How shall I use it? Maybe a quick nap.
The chapter retreat is coming up and I am so excited!!! It's going to be so much fun. There are TONS of new people coming and I cannot wait to talk to them and figure them out a little better. I don't really want to pay my $40 but oh well. This year I have to worry about making a connection with a freshman instead of being the freshman that tried talking to the other people. I already know them, and it'll just be a little weird changing roles. But I guess that's what our lives are all about. Changing. Nothering is ever there forever, you'll never know someone forever, so you have to learn to accept changes.
Tonight is a dance party, so excited! Tomorrow is the CCM BBQ and then Jason and Ashley's, so excited!! It'll be a good weekend I predict. Filled with fun and buttloads of homework. Oh well. That's what school's all about.
That's all I've got.
PEACE
Monday, September 10, 2007
Hate.
Hate is a very strong word. Did you know that it's used in the Gospel? I didn't until yesterday when I went to church and the Priest read it. I was very interested in what he was talking about.
Why is it that someone can have so much control over your life when you don't want them to? Why is it that they can go along without wondering what I'm doing and how I'm doing, yet I can't go five fucking minutes without thinking about what they're doing and knowing that they don't care. It's getting to the point where I didn't eat today. I had half a bowl of maccaroni and cheese, two sticks of celery, two bites of soup, and three pieces of this weird thing Katie made. It may sound like a lot of food, but it's not. On top of it I don't sleep. It's really starting to get to me and add it to the school work I have that I don't understand. I need a break from my life right now. Where can I get one of those?
If things couldn't be any more stressful, I get a 16 year old telling me that she likes me. Not only is that a. illegal, but b. I work with her and c. she's Jamie's little sister. All of that is just too much for me to handle right now.
Also, adding to my plate of shit are the leadership meetings on Tuesdays. If I can't force myself to finish my Spanish homework, I don't know if I'll attend becuase class is just more important.
I really just want to scream. All I did today was read. I went to bed around 2ish, got up at 8:40. Tried to sleep until about 9:48, but all I did was lay there. Got up and read all day. I read my new Catholicism book and then my Spanish Civ book. We have a couch now so it's more fun to sit in the family room and read. Next we just need a tv stand and some cable/dvd player.
This stress is really starting to affect me. It was okay when it was just school, but when you throw in Spanish that I don't understand and people that don't care when you try to care, it just sucks. Can someone please give me a vacation from myself?
Well I guess I'm done being emo.
PEACE
Why is it that someone can have so much control over your life when you don't want them to? Why is it that they can go along without wondering what I'm doing and how I'm doing, yet I can't go five fucking minutes without thinking about what they're doing and knowing that they don't care. It's getting to the point where I didn't eat today. I had half a bowl of maccaroni and cheese, two sticks of celery, two bites of soup, and three pieces of this weird thing Katie made. It may sound like a lot of food, but it's not. On top of it I don't sleep. It's really starting to get to me and add it to the school work I have that I don't understand. I need a break from my life right now. Where can I get one of those?
If things couldn't be any more stressful, I get a 16 year old telling me that she likes me. Not only is that a. illegal, but b. I work with her and c. she's Jamie's little sister. All of that is just too much for me to handle right now.
Also, adding to my plate of shit are the leadership meetings on Tuesdays. If I can't force myself to finish my Spanish homework, I don't know if I'll attend becuase class is just more important.
I really just want to scream. All I did today was read. I went to bed around 2ish, got up at 8:40. Tried to sleep until about 9:48, but all I did was lay there. Got up and read all day. I read my new Catholicism book and then my Spanish Civ book. We have a couch now so it's more fun to sit in the family room and read. Next we just need a tv stand and some cable/dvd player.
This stress is really starting to affect me. It was okay when it was just school, but when you throw in Spanish that I don't understand and people that don't care when you try to care, it just sucks. Can someone please give me a vacation from myself?
Well I guess I'm done being emo.
PEACE
Friday, September 7, 2007
Numbers?
So the second week of classes has ended. It was a long week! And I only have class three days out of the week. This semester is going to be very hard I think. Not class wise, but jsut intense. My classes are all squished together into three days and that's tiring. Then I have lots to do for IV and it's just overwhelming. OUr second week of NSO stuff has ended and I feel like we've met a lot of people, but how many are going to come to IV and small groups? Did they jsut sign up for free stuff? I don't want to get too caught up in numbers, even though it's important. I feel that as soon as we focus on the numbers and not the people, we're going to lose sight of what a small group or even IV is all about. Where's the happy medium?
Today I had to take the ferrets to the vet for their last distemper boosters. It was expensive but I'm glad they only need to get their rabies shots and then they're done for a year. Hooray!
So I'm slowly pluggin away on my STIM application. I hope I get accepted. I really hope I get to go to Bolivia too. I gave my reference part to Laura today and I'm so thankful that she's going to fill it out. I have to give one to Shane, Andrew, and the priest at church. I just became a member there so I don't know if he'll be able to answer the questions entirely. Maybe I'l set up a meeting with him and talk to him and then he'll know where to go from there. But I've been going to the church for about a year and I cosnider mysefl a member. Is that all that really counts? I don't know.
Tonight I think I might do some homework and read. It'll be a nice relaxing night.
Well that's all I've got for now.
PEACE
Today I had to take the ferrets to the vet for their last distemper boosters. It was expensive but I'm glad they only need to get their rabies shots and then they're done for a year. Hooray!
So I'm slowly pluggin away on my STIM application. I hope I get accepted. I really hope I get to go to Bolivia too. I gave my reference part to Laura today and I'm so thankful that she's going to fill it out. I have to give one to Shane, Andrew, and the priest at church. I just became a member there so I don't know if he'll be able to answer the questions entirely. Maybe I'l set up a meeting with him and talk to him and then he'll know where to go from there. But I've been going to the church for about a year and I cosnider mysefl a member. Is that all that really counts? I don't know.
Tonight I think I might do some homework and read. It'll be a nice relaxing night.
Well that's all I've got for now.
PEACE
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Triple Chocolate Meltdown
Good evening readers! It is a good day. I woke up at 7:41 am and that part wasn't too good, but then I napped until about 9. That was good. Then I got up and read for my politics class and it was slightly interesting. I hope we start debating in that class becuase I like to debate. After some lunch I went to BIBLE PREPARATION 404 according to Ashley and that was okay. I don't know how much I got out of it in 30 minutes. I guess I'll have to spend more time in it by myself. It's a good jumping off point though.
Last night was my first small group and there was one person that came. I can't even really count that since it was Ryan's friend and not a freshman. Maybe next week we'll get more since yesterday was Labor Day and a lot of people went home. I look forward to the guys that God is going to bring to small group, just like He brought me to Jason and Doug's last year. After Bible class I went off to Spanish Lit. That class is so freaking hard. Next class I have an outline due for an essay and a presentation on Cotes' letters. I just need to find time to sit down and work. I think the library is going to become my best friend soon, I can't really work here, I get too distracted. I thought that class was going to be about novels and other good things, but instead we're reading poetry written by Natives right after Cortes got there. It's so hard! I don't understand any of it.
After that extremely hard class I go onto math, which is a joke all in itself. I sit there extremely bored. Oh well. I signed up for the class for an easy A so we'll see if it'll still be that easy later on down the road. I hope so becuase with the other classes I'm taking I need a nice easy one.
After my math class I headed on over to International Politics and that was fun. I think it's going to be really interesting learning about the politics of the world. Sometimes I wonder if I should pick up a minor of International something. Considering I'm a Spanish major and plan to travel a lot. I guess that's something to look into.
After class I went out to dinner with Doug and we had some really great conversations and one that I never thought about was how obsessed I've been with getting a job. Everywhere I turn I say I need a job. Why do I need a job? So I can spend money. Maybe the thing I need to learn to do is to not spend money. I think I should cancel all my credit cards and live off what money I have in my bank accounts. That way I'm limited to what I can spend, whereas if I have credit cards I know that I can spend money and pay it back later. It's not a good thing.
I talked to my friend Stacy today and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to go visit her in November. It only costs $158 to fly out of Richmond. I know that I just wrote that I shouldn't spend money, but it's vital that I go and see her. I would love to head on down to Florida. It'll be a great quick break.
Tomorrow is my cousin's birthday. I'm sad that I can't be there to celebrate it with her. Oh well, I'll give her a cute call at midnight and scream Happy Birthday to her. She's precious.
Tomorrow I'm working on my Spanish presentation from 10 until we finish it. I'm kind of nervous about it since it's for a class that I have no idea what is ever going on, but maybe this will be my turning point to understanding! Then after that I have my 3 hour Spanish Civ class. That too is killer. I have to start prepping for two essays, one for both classes. It's going to stretch my Spanish skills in so many ways.
After that is CRASH. I'm looking forward to being able to sit there and watch tomorrow. I don't have to speak which is nice. Dani was saying that she wants Katie and I to sing sometime. I think it would be a lot of fun to sing with Jason playing the guitar or singing with us. Guess we'll have to see how that turns out!
Well that's all I've got for now.
PEACE
Last night was my first small group and there was one person that came. I can't even really count that since it was Ryan's friend and not a freshman. Maybe next week we'll get more since yesterday was Labor Day and a lot of people went home. I look forward to the guys that God is going to bring to small group, just like He brought me to Jason and Doug's last year. After Bible class I went off to Spanish Lit. That class is so freaking hard. Next class I have an outline due for an essay and a presentation on Cotes' letters. I just need to find time to sit down and work. I think the library is going to become my best friend soon, I can't really work here, I get too distracted. I thought that class was going to be about novels and other good things, but instead we're reading poetry written by Natives right after Cortes got there. It's so hard! I don't understand any of it.
After that extremely hard class I go onto math, which is a joke all in itself. I sit there extremely bored. Oh well. I signed up for the class for an easy A so we'll see if it'll still be that easy later on down the road. I hope so becuase with the other classes I'm taking I need a nice easy one.
After my math class I headed on over to International Politics and that was fun. I think it's going to be really interesting learning about the politics of the world. Sometimes I wonder if I should pick up a minor of International something. Considering I'm a Spanish major and plan to travel a lot. I guess that's something to look into.
After class I went out to dinner with Doug and we had some really great conversations and one that I never thought about was how obsessed I've been with getting a job. Everywhere I turn I say I need a job. Why do I need a job? So I can spend money. Maybe the thing I need to learn to do is to not spend money. I think I should cancel all my credit cards and live off what money I have in my bank accounts. That way I'm limited to what I can spend, whereas if I have credit cards I know that I can spend money and pay it back later. It's not a good thing.
I talked to my friend Stacy today and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to go visit her in November. It only costs $158 to fly out of Richmond. I know that I just wrote that I shouldn't spend money, but it's vital that I go and see her. I would love to head on down to Florida. It'll be a great quick break.
Tomorrow is my cousin's birthday. I'm sad that I can't be there to celebrate it with her. Oh well, I'll give her a cute call at midnight and scream Happy Birthday to her. She's precious.
Tomorrow I'm working on my Spanish presentation from 10 until we finish it. I'm kind of nervous about it since it's for a class that I have no idea what is ever going on, but maybe this will be my turning point to understanding! Then after that I have my 3 hour Spanish Civ class. That too is killer. I have to start prepping for two essays, one for both classes. It's going to stretch my Spanish skills in so many ways.
After that is CRASH. I'm looking forward to being able to sit there and watch tomorrow. I don't have to speak which is nice. Dani was saying that she wants Katie and I to sing sometime. I think it would be a lot of fun to sing with Jason playing the guitar or singing with us. Guess we'll have to see how that turns out!
Well that's all I've got for now.
PEACE
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)